I Sat in Meditation for 2 Hours

I didn’t have any big insights from two hours of seated meditation. But when I finally laid down in śavāsana afterwards, tears fell down my face.

An extended sit forces you to shift how you identify with yourself. There’s physical discomfort - but you’re not your body. There’s mental discomfort - but you’re not your mind.

We practiced ānāpāna meditation, simple breath awareness. No counting, no analysis, just noticing the inhales & exhales. Inevitably, the mind wanders, and we start again. Over and over and over.

When I laid down after, I got emotional because I could finally release control. No more holding my spine upright, no more focusing my mind. Just letting go.

Somewhere in those hours, I’d been quietly deconstructing my ego. Each time my mind wandered and I brought it back, a tiny layer fell away. Nothing profound. No big insights. Just a slow diminishing of false identification.

Of course, I’m just as un-enlightened as before, and I still surely have an ego. But every time we sit, we see the landscape of our un-enlightenment a little more clearly.

Enlightenment isn’t a destination, it’s a homecoming to what’s already within us. Not just for sages and renunciates, but for regular people like you and me. It just takes a little stillness.